“I’m not judging you; I’m just sayin’ . . .” is a trendy, risk-adverse attempt to vent one’s opinion without the added bonus of dealing with a guilty conscience. The devil is eager to help people dodge the consequences of this sin, much to their shame.

No one likes to be corrected. But we need checks and balances grounded in the Scriptures and carried out in a trust-filled community of our peers. Jesus is clear on how to deal with sinful behavior in the church (Matthew 18:15-20). In verse 15, he starts with: “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”

It’s at this crucial first step where self-righteous temptations can trip us up. For some, “I come in Christian love . . .” can mean the same as, “I’m not judging you; I’m just sayin’ . . .” Checking our motives before starting this process will make all the difference in the world to winning repentant hearts or making matters worse. Humbly recognizing our own sinful hearts and remembering Jesus’ mercy and forgiveness is crucial before we take the first steps in Christian correction. Give the benefit of the doubt by making space for grace in which the two of you can work it out for the glory of God our Father. Leave the risk factor for how it turns out in his perfect hands.

“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them” (verse 20).