How adultery happens

By Pastor Mike Novotny

Few Christians see themselves as the kind of people who would commit adultery. Yet it happens.

Here’s a common pattern: First, deprivation. A spouse feels deprived of love/respect/attention/intimacy at home. Second, attraction. The deprived spouse notices someone and is drawn to them. Third, intention. You make an intentional effort to be with/impress the person you’re attracted to. You stop by the party that he’ll be at. You dress up for the Zoom call she is on. Fourth, emotion. You share emotional, personal, and vulnerable things with the object of your attraction, often about your own struggling marriage. Finally, connection. You physically connect. A touch, a hug, which rushes into something much more.

In his famous teaching on adultery and lust, Jesus said, “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell” (Matthew 5:29). Jesus’ point? It’s better to take a drastic step now than end up with a devastating ending then.

Maybe God has you reading these words for a reason. You haven’t cheated, but you see yourself in that pattern. You haven’t physically connected, but you are definitely attracted and intentional about crossing paths with a particular person. Consider this devotion your warning from God before it is too late. Do whatever you need to do to avoid the catastrophe of adultery.

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About the Author

Pastor Mike Novotny

Pastor Mike Novotny has served God’s people in full-time ministry since 2007 in Madison and currently at The CORE in Appleton, Wisconsin. He also serves as the lead speaker for Time of Grace, where he shares the good news about Jesus through television, radio, print, and online platforms. Mike loves seeing people grasp the depth of God’s amazing grace and unstoppable mercy. His wife continues to love him (despite plenty of reasons not to), and his two daughters open his eyes to the love of God for every Christian. When not talking about Jesus or dating his wife/girls, Mike loves playing soccer, running, and reading.“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

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