If you see someone caught in a sin and know God is asking you to say something, please don’t forget the Golden Rule of Confrontation: Confront them like you’d want them to confront you.
Jesus taught us, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12). “Everything” includes confrontation. In other words, if the tables were turned, how would you prefer to be confronted?
I bet you’d want the truth. As much as we want our doctors to tell us we’re as healthy as ever, we would prefer the true diagnosis if there was something concerning on the scans. In the same way, give someone the truth about their sin. Bring a Bible, open it to the passage that applies, and give them examples of where you see a pattern of behavior. Don’t let them weasel out with their feelings or opinions. Keep the Bible open and your finger pointing to the passage that is your cause for concern. Give them the truth.
While you’re giving them the truth, speak in love. Love is kind, talking to the sinner instead of about the sinner, so don’t gossip with others about it. Love listens, willing to accept information that you might not have known about the situation. Love is patient, giving the sinner some time and space to process your concern. Love isn’t easily angered when sinners get defensive.
Truth and love. That’s how you confront others in a way you would want to be confronted.
