April 24 marks a turning point in Pastor Mike Novotny’s story.
In the introduction to Taboo, he writes:
“Many years ago, on an April 24, I walked into a counselor’s office and admitted my addiction to pornography.”
Walking down the hallway, he felt awkward and self-conscious. He wondered whether the people passing him could guess why he was there—and whether knowing would change what they thought of him.
But he knew he needed help.
His willingness to tell the truth introduces a message that runs throughout the book: Hidden struggles need honest conversations, and sinners need the grace of Jesus. Taboo is available as a thank-you gift for a donation to Time of Grace.
Perhaps that struggle sounds familiar. You love Jesus. You know pornography is wrong. You have promised God you will not look again. Then you do. Afterward, you feel ashamed, ask for forgiveness, and hope that this time you will finally have enough self-control.
If you are searching for how to stop watching porn as a Christian, there is help beyond another private promise to try harder. Christ’s forgiveness is for sexual sinners. His grace gives believers a reason to fight sin, and he provides fellow Christians who can help them fight it honestly.
Why do Christians keep watching porn?
Being a Christian does not mean the sinful nature has disappeared. Believers have new life through faith in Jesus, but they still face temptation from the devil, the world, and their own sinful desires.
Pastor Mike explains that this battle continues throughout a Christian’s life. Growth is possible, but believers should not expect to reach a point where they no longer need vigilance, forgiveness, or help.
Pornography can offer something a person desires: pleasure, an escape from stress, stimulation during boredom, or a distraction from loneliness.
That helps explain the temptation. It does not excuse giving in.
Jesus teaches that sexual sin involves the heart, not merely physical actions:
“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
—Matthew 5:28, NIV
Watching pornography for sexual pleasure does not become harmless because it happens through a screen.
It can also harm the people closest to the person watching. Pastor Mike describes wives who discovered pornography and felt they were being asked to compete with the images their husbands had viewed.
A spouse needs faithful love, not comparison with a fantasy.
This is not only a men’s struggle. Women need honest conversations, forgiveness, and help too. Married or single, male or female, Christians do not have to pretend this could never be their battle.
For a fuller picture of God’s good design, read Let’s talk about sex (and God).
Start with what Jesus has done
Before explaining the practical steps Christians can take, Pastor Mike directs readers to the Savior who has already acted for them.
Jesus lived the holy life sinners have not lived. He never entertained a sinful desire or treated another person as an object for his pleasure. Then he went to the cross for sinners, including people whose search histories they desperately wish they could erase.
Jesus paid for those sins. His resurrection assures believers that his sacrifice was accepted.
Forgiveness is not a reward God gives after someone goes thirty days without pornography. It is his gift, received through faith in Christ.
Pastor Mike writes:
“Because God is not waiting until you cleanse your body before he cleanses your soul.”
That comfort rests on Jesus’ completed work. It does not mean pornography is insignificant or that repentance is unnecessary.
God’s law exposes sin and teaches people how he wants them to live. His gospel announces the forgiveness Jesus won. A guilty conscience needs the Savior who took that guilt upon himself.
Repentance involves sorrow over sin and trust in Christ’s forgiveness. It does not make peace with ongoing disobedience.
But a person who is grieved by sin and afraid to return to Jesus does not need to become worthy first. Jesus came to save sinners.
Why grace helps Christians fight pornography
In Taboo, Pastor Mike calls confession to other Christians the second-best way to quit porn. The first is the grace of Jesus.
He explains:
“The love of Jesus not only cleanses us from our sins but also compels us to leave our sins behind.”
Scripture connects God’s saving grace with the believer’s new life:
“For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.”
—Titus 2:11–12, NIV
Through the gospel, the Holy Spirit moves Christians to love the Savior who has loved them.
That changes the reason for resisting temptation.
Someone trying to earn God’s acceptance may see every failure as evidence that God no longer wants them. Someone trusting Christ’s forgiveness can face that failure honestly and return to the fight.
Their body belongs to the Lord. The person on the screen is someone God commands them to love. Their next choice is an opportunity to honor the Savior who gave himself for them.
Keep receiving the gospel. Open Scripture. Worship with a faithful church. Receive the forgiveness God gives through his Word and sacraments. Pray for the Holy Spirit to strengthen faith and lead you in self-control.
That is how Christians grow in honoring God in daily life. Their service flows from the love God has already shown them in Christ.
Tell someone who can help
This may be the step that makes your stomach tighten: Someone else needs to know.
Not everyone. Not the entire church. But a trustworthy Christian who can hear the truth, speak God’s Word, pray, and help you take concrete steps.
Pastor Mike puts it plainly:
“In other words, if you sin, say it. And if you sin again, say it again. Be honest. Stop faking it in front of others. Be real. Keep confessing.”
James writes:
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
—James 5:16, NIV
This is an invitation to honest confession and prayer, not a guarantee that every recurring struggle will disappear immediately.
Begin by telling a trustworthy person what is happening: that pornography has become a recurring struggle, that private attempts to stop have not been enough, and that help is needed.
Graphic details are unnecessary. Honesty is not.
Choose someone mature enough to take sin seriously and respond with gentleness. A faithful pastor can help you find that support. A qualified counselor can also help when the pattern feels compulsive, harms relationships, or continues despite repeated efforts to stop.
Confessing to another person does not purchase forgiveness. Jesus has already paid for it. A fellow Christian can bring his promise into the very place where shame has encouraged secrecy.
The article on the buddy system offers more encouragement about Christian accountability.
Ask for a spiritual spotter
Pastor Mike uses a weight-room illustration to explain the help described in Galatians 6.
Picture someone lying beneath a bench-press bar. Their arms begin to shake. The weight moves downward, and they cannot push it back up.
They need someone close enough to help.
As Pastor Mike explains:
“A spotter makes sure you don’t get stuck.”
Paul describes spiritual help this way:
“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
—Galatians 6:1–2, NIV
A Christian helper does not excuse pornography. But that person should not respond with pride or disgust toward someone asking for help. Both people need the same Savior.
Make the support specific. Agree on a regular time to check in. Answer questions honestly. Reach out when temptation starts building rather than waiting until afterward.
Remember what makes the help Christian. Accountability involves more than reporting a number of successful days. A faithful helper speaks honestly about sin and keeps pointing to the forgiveness and strength found in Christ.
Pastor Mike summarizes that purpose:
“As often as they keep confessing sin, we keep confessing the Savior of sexual sinners.”
God has good reasons for giving Christians one another. Read more about why Christians need community.
Make it harder to return to pornography
A phone cannot repent for its owner. But its owner can stop giving temptation such easy access.
Consider where and when the pattern usually begins. Alone late at night? Scrolling in bed? After an argument? Exhausted and looking for an escape?
Then make changes that address those circumstances:
- Charge the phone outside the bedroom.
- Remove accounts or apps used to find sexual content.
- Use filtering or accountability tools with a trustworthy person involved.
- Put the device down and contact someone when temptation begins building.
These are practical applications, not rules every Christian must follow in exactly the same way. Their purpose is to remove opportunities a person already knows they are using to sin.
Pay attention to the needs behind the pattern too. Loneliness may call for time with people. Exhaustion may call for rest. Distress may call for an honest conversation and appropriate support.
Those needs do not make pornography right. Recognizing them can help a person respond wisely.
Responsibility belongs with the person making the choice. A spouse is not responsible for preventing pornography use by becoming more sexually available. They should not receive the blame or be expected to carry the entire accountability plan.
What should a Christian do after watching porn again?
Confess the sin. Return to Christ’s promise. Tell the person helping. Examine what happened and what needs to change.
Do not minimize it. Do not decide another failure makes resistance pointless. Do not disappear until there is a better week to report.
Scripture promises:
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
—1 John 1:9, NIV
That promise rests on Christ’s payment for sin. Confession does not earn forgiveness, and forgiveness does not make continued sin harmless.
In Taboo, Pastor Mike shares Jeremy’s story. Jeremy struggled to be alone in a house with an internet connection without returning to pornography. He told Pastor Mike and his girlfriend, and he experienced changes he once could hardly imagine.
But the account includes a setback. Jeremy fell into sin again, confessed again, and sought support again.
Later, Jeremy wrote:
“It’s been such a blessing to be more free over the past 18 months than I ever have been.”
Those are Jeremy’s words, quoted in Pastor Mike’s book. His experience offers encouragement without establishing a timeline everyone else must follow.
A setback is a reason to repent and seek help, not a reason to hide or excuse the sin.
God’s forgiveness is complete in Christ. A Christian’s growth in holiness remains imperfect in this life. Believers keep resisting sin while continuing to need the Savior who forgives it.
What if pornography has hurt a marriage?
Honesty should come with concern for the spouse who has been hurt.
The person confessing may feel relieved that the secret is finally out. Their spouse may only be beginning to understand what happened.
Forgiveness does not require trust to return immediately. Answer appropriate questions, respect reasonable boundaries, and seek wise pastoral and professional support. Guidance can help couples communicate truthfully without adding unnecessary graphic details.
Scripture calls Christians to consider one another:
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”
—Philippians 2:3, NIV
That includes taking a spouse’s pain seriously instead of expecting immediate reassurance.
The betrayed spouse may need support of their own. Their hurt is not an inconvenience standing between the other person and recovery. They are someone God has commanded their spouse to love.
Christian accountability should support that responsibility rather than becoming a way to demand a quick return to normal.
For someone helping a friend or loved one, confronting with love offers encouragement about speaking truth with care.
Take one honest step today
Pastor Mike’s April 24 story begins with an uncomfortable walk into a counselor’s office. It also begins with something hopeful: He stopped trying to keep the struggle entirely hidden.
The next step does not require solving every problem first.
Choose one trustworthy person and ask for a conversation. Put a practical boundary in place where it is needed. Open God’s Word and hear what the Savior has done.
Jesus came for sinners. He gave his life for them and rose from the dead. Through faith in him, forgiveness is theirs as a gift.
His grace gives Christians a reason to fight sin without pretending they can save themselves.
Ask for help. Keep telling the truth. Keep receiving the promises of the Savior who has already paid for your sins.
For more biblical guidance on pornography and other difficult questions, make a donation to Time of Grace and receive Pastor Mike Novotny’s Taboo as a thank-you gift.
