Scripture: James 1:26–27, Amos 5:21–24, 1 John 3:1
A Note on a Windshield: “It’s Not a Religion, It’s a Relationship”
This past summer, I was at a big Christian music festival, and I was walking from show to show when I passed this minivan parked in one of the parking lots where someone had, I think, handwritten a note and stuck it under the back windshield wiper. It read, “It’s not a religion, it’s a relationship.” It wasn’t the first time I had heard that. Christianity, according to the note, is not a religion, it’s a relationship. Ever heard that before? I was down in South America, just a few weeks before, in Argentina. I go to this local Argentinean church and the pastor, he’s standing up in front of people like I’m standing up in front of you, and he says to the church… [Speaking in Spanish] Which means if you don’t habla Espanol, it’s not a religion, it’s a relationship. So, different continents, different cultures, different languages, but Christians are all saying the same thing these days, that the Christian faith is not a religion, it’s a relationship.
And I’m kind of curious what you think about that phrase. You agree or disagree, or do you kind of feel caught in the middle? And I’d love for you to grab a pen, because let’s define what a religion is. The word religion comes from an old Latin word that literally means to bind. Like, B-I-N-D. Bind. So, in a classic, technical sense, a religion is something that binds you to beliefs and behaviors. Right? A religious person can’t just say, “Well, I think,” or “I feel,” or “This is my truth,” or “This is what I” — No, a religion, at least in the technical sense, binds you to a standard that is outside of you.
What Does It Really Mean to Be “Bound” to Your Faith?
Let me try to describe it like this. I found this stretchy exercise band in my basement, haven’t used it in a long time. Let’s pretend for a second that this is me. Well, you don’t have to pretend, this actually is me. And this is a Bible, the beliefs and behaviors that Jesus promoted. And let’s pretend that this stretchy rope is religion. So, what a religion is meant to do is take me and this book and bind us together. It’s supposed to wrap around with habits on the weekend, with structure, with community, with pastor, with people, with fellowship, so that my connection to this book is much more difficult to let go of. Now, some people, maybe even you when you see this, you say, “Oh, that looks uncomfortable.” And religion can be uncomfortable. It binds you, it restricts you. It keeps you accountable, it makes you willing to be judged by other people, which is something that many people shed and shun these days. But I would propose to you that when you look at the Bible all of the religion and structure and the pastors and the services, all that binding is actually meant for your blessing.
Reminds me of an old story, a Greek myth you may have heard of — Ulysses and the Sirens. Any of you classic history lovers remember this story? Ulysses and his men fought in the Greek Trojan wars, and they were taking the long, long, long journey home, this giant odyssey. But between the war and home were all kinds of dangers. Ulysses was actually married to his wife, Penelope. He loved her dearly, missed her intensely, he just wanted to get home. But he knew between war and home was this long journey. And Ulysses had been warned that this, actually, was one of the most dangerous parts of the journey, the island of the Sirens. The Sirens were able to sing with the most enchanting song. When they were at a distance — you didn’t exactly know what they were or who they were, but the sound of their message was so compelling, it was like a magnet for sailors and ships. Except, the sirens were vicious monsters who devoured humans and scattered their island with their bones.
But Ulysses had been given a heads up that the siren’s call was nearly irresistible. So, he took a bunch of wax, he stuffed it in his sailors’ ears and then he commanded the men, before the wax, to bind him to the mast of the ship. So they took the stoutest ropes on the ship, and they wrapped Ulysses up so that when he heard the siren call, he couldn’t go anywhere. As the story goes, when he first hears the siren’s voice it is so beautiful and so compelling that everything in him wants to get closer. He cries out to his men, he begs to be unbound, but they keep sailing on. And Ulysses’ life is saved.
“Humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.” — James 1:21
James is saying, humbly, like Ulysses, be bound to it, have other people hold you accountable to it. This is why we can say without a doubt, Old Testament and New, the life and teaching of Jesus, God is pro-church, God is pro-religion, God is pro-preaching, he is pro-community, pro-pastors. God wants you, he wants every one of his sons and daughters to be very, very, very religious.
When Religion Goes Wrong
But… I think you all know the sermon can’t end here because — well, the truth is, there’s a lot of people who seem very religious. I mean, show up in a church and they say their prayers and they have their Bibles, but something just seems off. Here’s why. Some people consider themselves very religious, but they’re not actually bound to the Bible. They go to church and they say the prayer and they give the money and they do the outward thing, but when you look at their life, they’re actually not bound to a lifestyle that honors the beliefs and the behaviors that God wants. James, same chapter of the Bible, addresses this:
“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” — James 1:26
See, it turns out when you read the Bible that there’s a lot of bad religion. People who would pick and choose, not just who would struggle to do the right thing but would leave whole pages and chapters of the Bible behind and the impact was not pleasing to God. I look back in the Old Testament, in the days of the prophet Amos. The people went to church, in fact they’d show up and give offerings to God, you know, the band would start playing, people would sing, they wouldn’t mumble the lyrics. And yet when God looked at what was happening, he was not happy.
“I hate, I despise your religious festivals. Your assemblies are a stench to me. Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. Away with the noise of your songs. I will not listen to the music of your harps. But let justice roll on like a river, and righteousness like a never-failing stream.” — Amos 5:21–24
Can you imagine if I showed up on stage and said, “Get the band out of here! Stop singing, I hate this.” Well, here’s why God felt so strongly — because justice and righteousness had disappeared.
Then the New Testament comes around and Jesus shows up. And who does Jesus have the most beef with? The religious guys. Because they skip church? Oh no, they went to church. Because they never gave money to the church? Oh no — Jesus said they would pick little leaves out of their garden and give one out of ten just to make sure they were tithing. But Jesus said to these church going guys, “You’ve strained out a gnat and swallowed a camel. You do the little religious thing but you miss the big things like love, forgiveness, justice, righteousness.” Jesus was all for church, just not that kind of church. So, does God want you to be religious? Yes. But not partly religious, not picking and choosing. People get hurt by “partially religious” people.
No Buffet Christianity: Refusing to Pick and Choose
So, write this down. Here’s the biblical cure to this problem. The biblical cure is that we must refuse to buffet the Bible. You all know what I mean by that? Quick show of hands, how many of you like buffets? If you’re not raising your hand right now, I don’t understand you as a human being. Buffets are the best. Why are buffets amazing? Because you get what you want and you skip what you don’t. Salad bar? Dessert station? Yes, please. Let me put it this way, at a buffet your will is done. And Jesus says we just can’t do that with the teachings of God. We can’t skip the pages we don’t like or the ones that are difficult. The Christian religion is a standard that is outside of us, and so Christ cares about all of it.
Pure Religion: People and Purity
Let me take you back to James’ words:
“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” — James 1:27
Seems to me there are two big ideas in pure religion: to help people and to stay pure. There are distressed people, there are widows who’ve lost their companion. They’re lonely, they need time and conversation. There are orphans who have no resources, no one to help them. Real religion sees people. It’s not so busy praying that it can’t help people. And real religion is bound, not to the polluted ways of this world but the pure ways of the word of God.
Which of the two is more of a struggle for you? I know what it is for me. I mean, I read my Bible, I make it to church, I got the autopay set up to give generous offerings, but sometimes I feel like the religious guy in the parable of the Good Samaritan. Someone’s in need but I got a schedule to keep, I have boxes to check, I have things to do. And I wonder if God would say, “Hey, Mike, the point of the book is to help the people.” The point of your church, not just to have church, it’s to fill up on the love of the God who helps people and then to help people. As we live in a prosperous community, I can’t read the Bible without finding God’s immense love for disadvantaged and impoverished people. Because biblical faith is bound to giving generously to those in need.
And so, I want to pastor you well and I want to bind your heart, I want to bind your budget until the day you die to loving people in practical ways. That if you gave your pastor access to your schedule and your bank account there would be evidence that what’s on God’s heart is on your heart. So, people and purity. Some people think they’re very spiritual and they’re all about people, about being kind, about being there with a hug and a prayer, but they’ve forgotten about moral purity. They bought into the, you know, “It’s my truth and love is love and marriage is a piece of paper and I’m going to do what feels right.” They’ve totally forgotten what is also all over the pages of the Bible, that God is holy and pure and he loves righteousness and purity. That we should flee from sexual temptation and that God honors a marriage when a man and a woman have made a covenant together. The world will not tell us such things, but James is passionate about such things.
A Relationship Bursting with Affection
So, friends, God wants you to be religious. Today, what is God trying to bind your life to? What’s something that maybe slipped through your fingers, that through his word, he’s trying to make your new passion? But that was the hard part. Now for the fun part. I have to say, in the same book where I find these high standards for loving and sacrificing for other people, I find the most ridiculous, beautiful, life-changing, eternity-shifting, compelling message about the relationship that God has with us through Jesus.
All right, grab a pen, write it down this way. I think a relationship, at least a good healthy relationship, is a connection with affection. And in real Christianity, what God wants to bind your beliefs to is that through Jesus you have a connection that is bursting with affection. I’m going to give you my favorite three examples.
The Bible sometimes talks about the connection that people have with God like a perfect father in heaven with his incredibly adored kids.
“See what great love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God. And that is what we are.” — 1 John 3:1
I have two daughters, and when I tuck them in at night, I think about that. I’ve seen these kids and all their flaws. They’ve sinned against me how many times, and yet I feel something for these two — I’d do anything for them. And I’m a sinful human. Imagine how God feels. This is the affection you feel for me. I’m not a burden to you. I’m not a footnote for you. I’m the kid that you love more than I love these kids. That thought blows my mind. I cannot think that religion is rigid and dogmatic and boring and a have-to. When I think that it binds me to the love of God who doesn’t just put up with me or write some moral contract with me, he loves me more than I love my kids. That is insane. I don’t blame John for the exclamation points, “Children of God!” This is what we are.
And then, if that wasn’t good enough, the Bible also describes the Christian religion as a relationship where God is like a husband and we’re his beloved bride. Isaiah 62 says, “As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride so will your God rejoice over you.” I remember years ago there was this husband named Josh — a barrel-chested dude who laid concrete for a living. I’m standing right there, he’s next to me, and then his wife Megan shows up and this dude just melts with affection for his bride. And I’m just watching him thinking, “That’s how God feels about us.” Some people have this strict view of God, like he’s a judge in heaven sending lightning bolts down when you mess up. No. I think he’s like Josh. When Jesus, who bled and died to take away our sin, saved us from all of that, he gave us a righteousness — a standing with God that makes us so moving that God himself almost melts with emotion when he thinks about his people. I can’t get my brain around that, but I love it so much. My religion is not just about an autopay offering or a Sunday habit — it’s about connecting me to this God who loves me more than I would ever believe.
And then, if that isn’t enough, let me give you one more. Jesus sometimes said that Christianity is like having a perfect friendship with God. Jesus said, “I have called you friends, for everything that I’ve learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15). I love the fact that a lifetime of church has bound me to a belief in God that I never could have invented on my own. Who would ever say I make God happy? I’m Jesus’ best friend. God loves me more — I would never be bold enough to say that. But my religion, the Christian religion of this book, promises me exactly that.
A Religious Relationship: Why It’s Both
Friends, Jesus did not bleed and die and rise to bind you to a pew. He did all that to bind you to a person. A perfect relationship with a perfect God. So, I didn’t take that little note out of the windshield wiper of the van and tear it up and put it in my pocket, but I could have. It’s not a religion, it’s a relationship? False. It is a religion, thank God. It’s a belief that I’m bound to — specifically the belief that I have a God who is my Father in heaven, who’s like a groom with his bride, who is like a best friend in a friendship that will never end. I would propose to you biblically that Christianity is a relational religion. It is a religion, but it is so relational. Or call it a religious relationship. It’s a connection to God that we’re bound to, and it is oh so beautiful.
A couple months ago, my wife Kim and I celebrated 20 years of marriage together. We haven’t had a perfect marriage — we’ve had ups and downs, we’ve been to counseling before as we’re trying to raise kids and get through it all. But I would say this: Kim and I are so close. Our relationship right now is so, so strong. And if you ask us how we got this relationship, we’d both give you the same answer — we’re religious. We have bound ourselves to a weekly habit called date night. We don’t wait to see how we feel or what we think. We say no to almost everything and almost everyone and we bind that time together so we can connect. It’s this weekly time that we connect. And being religious about that once-a-week schedule makes our relationship better than ever.
Sound familiar? God wants you to be religious. He doesn’t want you to wait and see how the weekend goes. He wants you to be in a church, this church or some other church, week after week — why? To waste your time? No, he wants to speak words to you that you would never ever believe if he didn’t say them again and again and again: that he is your Father in heaven, he is your best friend. As a groom rejoices over his bride, so God rejoices over you. What a relationship. So, see you next Sunday? Let’s pray.
Well, God, we live in a world that encourages us to be spiritual but not religious. A world that sees the flaws of the church and the pastors and the televangelists, and throws the baby out with the bath water. God, thank you for saving us from that. Thank you that at the end of the day we’re not just bound to how we feel or what we think, instead we’re bound to this unchanging promise of your unchanging love. I pray for everyone who’s here today, everyone who’s listening, that you would bind us to a community of faith, to spiritual oversight, to accountability, and most importantly to these beliefs about your unconditional love for us through Christ. We couldn’t get used to it and we can’t either, that we are your children and you are a perfect Father who always is there for us, always forgives us, always loves us. We wouldn’t believe it unless you had repeatedly said it, so thank you God.
I pray too, God, that our religion wouldn’t stop here, that after the amen and the closing blessing we would walk out and bind ourselves to behaviors of helping and loving people. That’s never easy, God; love is almost always an interruption. So, help us to remember this is our calling, this is our purpose. And inspire us with your forgiveness to do it day after day after day until we see your loving face. God, we pray all these things in the beautiful name of your one and only Son through whom we are born again and can call you our Father in heaven. It’s in his name that we pray, and all God’s people said, amen.
