Full disclosure—The Bible has zero words about date night. Of the six hundred-plus commandments in the Old Testament, God didn’t add a single line about dating your spouse.
And Jesus, who was love on two legs, never mentioned it in a single parable. That means you could skip a date night ritual and still have a happy, holy home.
But a weekly date has been so life-giving to my marriage. Let’s talk about the habit that has helped me stay happily married.
Are You Friends, Partners, or Lovers?
Friends, Partners, Lovers by Kevin A. Thompson offers a helpful framework for marriage. The author explains that the best marriages are when couples consider each other friends, partners, and lovers (rather than only one or two).
Friends have fun together. Partners partner up to do good work together. And lovers enjoy making love to one another. Check all three boxes, the book claims, and you’ll love your marriage.
But it’s much easier to be partners than friends and lovers.
The stack of dishes by the sink is much more obvious than our fading friendship. The overdue bills have specific amounts and due dates, but the marriage bed is not so black-and-white. And parenting can swallow up your entire week.
Remaining friends and becoming amazing lovers takes intention. And date night is just that.
“Dating” is what you do when you first meet each other. No newlywed imagines their love will fade, but the drift happens to a shockingly sad number of couples. You can resist that by fighting to remain friends.
This doesn’t mean you need some Bachelor-level adventure every Friday night. Just do whatever you both find fun. Take a walk or a dance class. Grab coffee and find a bench in the most beautiful spot your community has to offer. Challenge yourselves to find the best taco in your town!
While Kim and I have our go-to favorites, I keep a notes file on my phone of date night ideas so we don’t get caught in a rut. Whenever I hear about a new restaurant, an out-of-the-box idea, or anything that might make Kim happy, I take note.
And date night is the best night for lovers. Sex is always on the agenda for date night. You might think scheduled sex is less than romantic, but I would disagree with you. Anticipation is worth its weight in gold.
Make Date Night a Marriage Habit That Sticks
While I don’t exactly recall when Kim and I started our weekly date night, I do know what has allowed this habit to endure—our calendar.
Our assumption is that Friday night is date night. We don’t have to discuss it, debate it, or decide to do it. Our family, friends, and church know it.
You don’t have to do what we do, but the habits that stick around are the habits that don’t deviate from week to week. If you choose to date every week, pick a time and protect that time. Stuff will occasionally interrupt your plans, but have a solid plan to date.
If you have children, get creative! Talk with your parents, siblings, friends, and a few babysitters to figure out a regular rhythm for dating. Kids will complicate date night, but they don’t have to end it. Pray for wisdom, and ask God to help you figure out a doable solution.
Unsure of what to do? This is why God gave us AI! Type in your ages, interests, budget, and area, and you’ll have a hundred date night ideas in under .10 seconds. Thanks to modern tech, there is no excuse not to date each other until you die!
Church in Your Marriage
There is a reason God organized his religion. Instead of just giving us his commands and promises and wishing us the best of luck, he structured the Christian faith with intentional gatherings and urged us, “Let us . . . not [give] up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing” (Hebrews 10:24–25).
God, who loves his relationship with you, didn’t want a single week to go by without the chance to reconnect so you remember who he is and how much he loves you!
In my experience, date night is a lot like that. Kim and I have good weeks and bad weeks, stretches when we talk every day and seasons when we feel like ships passing in the night, but date night is a weekly reminder of why we said the words “I do” all those years ago.
Date night is optional. But I strongly encourage you to consider this weekly way to remain best friends, selfless partners, and wonderful lovers.
Excerpt taken from Newlywed: A Christian Guide for Loving Year Oneby Mike Novotny (© 2026 Time of Grace Ministry).
