Jesus is the way
Recently, I took my first-ever hike through the beautiful desert of southern Arizona. Think prickly pear and towering saguaro cacti, multicolored mountains, and a Wisconsin boy escaping the March snow of his native land for the southwestern sun. There was only one problem—I got lost. Apparently, I left the official hiking trail and ended up […]
Stand firm in Jesus
I recently had the opportunity to go on a police ride along. I was amazed to find that the time in the squad car was a series of highs and lows. One minute we were like people passing time on a road trip, counting cars with heavy eyelids. Then in the blink of an eye, […]
The real problem with submission
Why do so many people hate the biblical idea of submission? Perhaps because authority can be awful. If you have suffered under the abusive authority of a corrupt government, a monstrous husband, or a pastor with selfish motives, I can understand how triggering the passages on submission must be. But—can we be honest?—much of the […]
Hope after an affair
I sat down with a woman a few years after her husband’s affair. After recounting the pain and struggle, she told me about the healing and positive changes she had seen in her husband. Then I asked another couple this dangerous question: “Can you see any ways that the affair has made you stronger or […]
How to heal from infidelity
I interviewed a number of couples from my church that had been through and healed from an affair. I then developed an equation to describe how healing happens: Healing = Time x Work x Work. Time—Adultery is like getting hit by a bus. There’s no shortcut to getting back on your feet. You can work […]
How adultery happens
Few Christians see themselves as the kind of people who would commit adultery. Yet it happens. Here’s a common pattern: First, deprivation. A spouse feels deprived of love/respect/attention/intimacy at home. Second, attraction. The deprived spouse notices someone and is drawn to them. Third, intention. You make an intentional effort to be with/impress the person you’re […]
Adultery? Don’t!
Of the 55 uses of the word adultery in the Bible, the very first one that shows up is this: “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14). Our Father is that blunt for a reason. Even though an affair can feel like a lifeline for a spouse stuck in an unhappy marriage, breaking your vow […]
Competition or cooperation
The following two statements are true: Possessions are a blessing from God. Possessions are a burden to manage. Abraham and his nephew Lot had made a community together. Their families, livestock, and workers lived side by side. And God blessed them. He blessed them so much that their blessings became a burden to manage. Worker […]