If you read on hoping for some sex talk, you’re in for a letdown. Sex and intimacy were decoupled a long time ago. Intimacy has little to do with taking your clothes off in front of someone. It has everything to do with letting your guard down and baring your soul. That is the kind of naked that really makes us afraid.

Jesus had disciples and intimate disciples. He invited Peter, James, and John to see him suffer from the inside out (Matthew 26:36-46). Too bad they slept through it. Intimate friends are hard to come by. It is a wondrous love to know someone and be known by them through and through.

There are over 500,000 sensory fibers on our skin connected through our spinal cord to our brain. God wired us for lots of touching. We can distinguish affectionate touch from sensual touch. A bear hug, two-handed shake, or little poke in the ribs is the language of people who really like each other.

Intimacy doesn’t happen by appointment. It develops when we have the leisure to talk over a nice meal or on a long quiet trip in the Prius. We break our silence. We tell a little more, and some honest feelings spill out. Someone tries to understand us.

Mark Twain said, “I can live for two months on one good compliment.” We might not get one that often. Any affirmation and encouragement from a confidant has lots of staying power in our lives. Therefore, “encourage one another daily” (Hebrews 3:13).