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The prayer of a struggling believer
Pastor Kurt Wetzel
by Pastor Kurt Wetzel
March 1, 2021

Father,

I’m struggling right now. My heart is heavy, and I don’t even fully understand what I’m feeling. I know I’ve messed up. I’ve messed up a lot. Some things seem small, but they still bother me. Some things are massive failures, and they torment me. I know it’s not true, but sometimes I wonder if the things going wrong in life are your way of punishing me for not being who I’m supposed to be.

But you say you love me. You say you have plans for me. And your plans for me are good.

There’s a lot about myself I wish was different. I wish I was better. I wish I was smarter. I wish I was more faithful, less prone to wander from your ways, not so weak. I talk to myself like I’m a failure. It seems like there’s no way you could love me. How in the world am I going to face tomorrow—not to mention how many unknowns I’ll face in the months and years ahead. It’s scary. It’s kind of overwhelming.

But you say you love me. You say you have plans for me. And your plans for me are good.

When I look at this nation and everything happening around the world, it looks like everything is spiraling out of control. There is so much fighting. So much hurt. So much pain. People can be so cruel. Why do you let this happen? I try to envision what I can do to be part of the solution, but it looks so daunting. What can I do? Who can I actually help in a meaningful way? I struggle to see how I matter in all of this.

But you say you love me. You say you have plans for me. And your plans for me are good.

Father, I am weak, but you are strong. I have so many doubts, but you are perfectly wise. I feel unlovable, but you love me unconditionally. I have no idea what’s going on, but you govern all things for good. I stumble and struggle, but you never waver. I can’t understand what goes on around me, but you take it all and make it work for something beautiful. I don’t know what the future holds, but you keep making promises. In the midst of pain, discipline, suffering, and cruelty, there you are. You’ve always been there. You silently guide it all in the way you always knew it would turn out. I’m not God. You’re God. Help me see that. Help me know that. Help me believe that more and more.

And God, you’re good. You say you’re my Father and I’m your dear child. I’m your child! I can’t think of a better status than that—a child of God. Parents sometimes make their kids go through tough stuff. It’s not always easy. Sometimes it makes the kids frustrated and mad. But it doesn’t mean the parents don’t love them. The parents still have their best interests in mind. They would give anything for their children.

You gave your Son for me. He died on a cross for me. You told him to do that. For me. For me? Father, why would you do that?

Because you say you love me. You say you have plans for me. And your plans for me are good.

I love you, Father. You know how I struggle. Thanks for being here for me. Till next time, Amen.